Loser ];

This is how i feel everyday .

Why ?! Why is it that everyday i'm always sad ? Why must i feel this way ? I hate the feeling ! D': , why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why !

Woke up at 9am , trained to Teck Whye Lane to buy uniform for Eugene . Kept yawning all the way , -.- . Then reached home , ( I can wear Eugene's uniform , wtf ? ) Then online for awhile , then went for work . Then business was very very good around 12pm - 3pm . Shiok man , i loike . I was like sweating & shouting ? ( I love . ) Then 4pm eat lunch . Then 5pm start again , alot of customers , saw one familiar face , lastyear he was here too . Shuai man , lol . But i don't like him nor attracted to him , i'm tiongxim de k . [: Then left workplace around 6:30pm (?) . Bused 184 go Pending , then walked to Bangkit . & this time , i'm in deep shit . Help help help . I ain't the one for you , tsk . I'm a loser , i don't fit at all . Sorry , [: .

Today , while waiting for bus , Grandpa to come i listened to One In A Million - Hannah Montana . That song , particularly . Holds alot of memories )': , i didn't cried because i'm holding on . I use to listen to this song while waiting for you to call me & talk to me to sleep . But somehow , this time . No calls anymore , from you .. Its history aye ? Why can't god give me another chance ? I just want to be loved by him again , just one more time . This christmas , i'm celebrating it alone , this birthday , i didn't got my wish granted . So well , Santa & Fairygodmama forgot about me ? God , YOU DIDN'T MADE MY LIFE BETTER NOR MAKING ME STRONGER . INSTEAD , YOU'RE MAKING MY LIFE FROM BAD TO WORST . Loser , EMOILY THE SORE FUCKING LOSER . She can't even make it on time for her own love . The guy who she loved & also whom loved her , pin-ed all his hope on her , expecting her to be the first without mistakes . She didn't make it , she cried so hard . She felt so lost suddenly , she regretted , she slapped herself , she blamed herself , she .. she's so useless .. In one night , everything changed , totally . She just couldn't face the changes , she's the cause to the changes , she brought this to herself . Nothing remained the same , nothing . On that night , she's being treated so different from other girls . So different that she recieved a call from her so-called-primary-school-friend-name-Sherlyn & dragged her time . Fair ? NOT AT ALL , NOT AT ALL . T.T At that moment , she know , very clearly that she's not gonna make it , might as well give up . But she didn't , she still send because she loves him alot , alot . In the end , she didn't got it , she was having hard time to refrain herself from crying & go to sleep . A really hard time , she wakes up every 3 hour , checking her phone . Hoping to recieve an sms/call from him . But none , not at all . Only texts from friends telling me to cheer up . She cried , cried till her eyebags are so swollen & lifeless . She's not wan-bu-qi , she just feels very very very hurt & sad . Imagine , put yourself in her shoes . Thinking that you can't be with the person whom you love and whom loves you ? Can you all imagine ? Thinking that bettings here & there , totally feel unloved & neglected . People always think/says that she did it on purpose to break a happy relationship , no . SHE DIDN'T DID IN ON PURPOSE . She never never thought that he will ask for her phone number , understand her feelings . True love ain't easy to forget , a 40 days relationship . That's the reason why she's still sitting there , waiting for him to come back ..